Ernestine, Where Are You?
February 5th, 2007 by Nancy ClevelandI’m trying to make my way through a really interesting book with what little time I have to indulge this favorite pastime. The other day, needed an oil-change/lube so, book in one hand, latte in the other, I happily anticipated a few minutes…maybe even half-an-hour…kick-back time. I’d no sooner sat down, opened the book when a cell phone rings and is answered. Apparently this encouraged other customers-in-waiting; two others decided they needed to make their calls.
Okay…forget the read. Had a visit to the dentist’s office pending…I can catch up then. That was today. Well, there’s a tv on, in one corner. Now that’s not so bad…it’s only looped promotional information on the services offered and the volume is low. Two people already in the middle of their phone conversations, one…phone in hand, about to be. Another comes back out to sit in the waiting room and immediately rummages for her cell phone while someone else’s is ringing, demanding immediate attention. Not one says, “Let me call you back, later†or “This isn’t a good time…give me an hourâ€, nor does anyone shut off their phone.
What IS this need to be available or ensure someone else is? I’ve watched folk dial multiple numbers until they finally reach a “live†body on the other end. Frankly, most certainly appear not to be business people but folk who can’t seem to be alone, wait something out in peace and quiet or are reluctant to make conversation with the person in the next seat if conversing is a must. On the one hand, it would seem…in recent years…we, as a society…are distancing ourselves from human, face-to-face, one-on-one interaction while, on the other, need invisible umbilical cords across towns, counties, States for contact of any sort in order not to sit awhile with just their own thoughts. Used to be when bosses, managers, left the office it was with instructions…â€Take a message. I won’t be available for the next (?) hour(s).†Anything requiring his/her attention, no matter how pressing, waited for his/her return. Mothers used to relish a day out shopping, having lunch, keeping their appointments either on their own or with a friend and not having to deal with every little thing that arose. Grandparents loved getting a little time away from the entire network of family, enjoying whatever they chose without someone needing to know where they were or what they were doing, when they would be home and “Can you pick this up for me?â€
It’s nuts! And it’s not sour grapes for I’ve had cell phones for fifteen years. Three people have that number and of those three I call one from it, as only that person calls me…as and when necessary. Now it’s not even enough that we have a means of reaching someone in an emergency or vice-versa but boredom. To the point that we even see more and more folk walking down streets, round stores, completely alone but talking a blue-streak on a blue-tooth and not all are youngsters. Take a moment, take a newspaper, a magazine, a book…your own mind. Sit, wait, be still, enjoy lunch…just ’be’ and leave your cells in the car. I’m home now…peace and quiet reigns for the moment. Page 34 here I come.
February 5th, 2007 at 5:44 pm
Very well said. There is definitely something wrong with this picture. I have to admit though that as much as I am critical of this change in the way people interact with one another I’ve also been an at times a too willing victim of the process.
I first noticed this a number of years ago as an early user of the Internet messaging program called ICQ. The program and it’s intended use seemed simple enough at first: Get online; see other people you know online; send simple short messages to one another rather than trading longer e-mails.
It was so handy that you soon found you had given your ICQ number out to far too many people, some of whom seemed to have nothing else to do but send ICQ messages all day. Soon the program got much more complex, as it added options to allow you to “remain invisible” while still seeing your friends online (unless they too were invisible). Soon what could have been a handy utility became rather useless, unless you had the discipline to only share your ID with a select few, and those few all had some common sense about how to use it.
Cell phones are similar I think. For some of us the novelty wore off years ago, having to carry a beeper at all hours for a few years did it for me, for others the “star trekiness” of carrying a personal communicator all day will never lose its charm. These people seem UNABLE to think to themselves, or can’t come up with enough interesting things to think about. One former co-worker calls me on his cell phone almost every day. I finally figured out that I was one of several people he used to keep awake on his long drive home (who he calls on his trips in I don’t know, a “morning person” no doubt). I’ve suggested he take up coffee drinking, but apparently nothing works for him better than running his mouth (my contributions to the conversation generally go something like: “uh huh”, “right”, “yeah”). After I picked up on this phenomena I noticed I was taking this role for a number of people. I’ve started working on becoming less of a good listener. I have to be careful though, I wouldn’t want one of MY monologues to cause someone to go into a ditch.
February 6th, 2007 at 9:12 pm
Great post, Nancy. After all, this is the era of instant gratification, instant everything. I long for the days of trying to first find a pay phone, and then finding a quarter. Well now we can forget about pay phones, and use the quarters for the meters in Rehoboth.
Here are the cell phone uses which irk me the most:
Supermarkets, calling home to see if something is needed when you just left home with the list in hand.
Coming out of movie theaters and calling everyone you know with your review of it.
Calling your home from the driveway or garage of that same home, after just leaving or before entering.
Calling someone in one room of your house from another room in your house.
Then there is text messaging, a whole other exercise for those wishing to rest their voices in-between calls.
Yes we are going to hell in a handbasket.