I Prefer Dr. Best
April 17th, 2007 by Jared MorrisSo, I’ve had trouble sleeping in the past in my life.. All throughout high school, I barely slept at all.. In my early twenties I was for all intent and purposes addicted to over the counter sleeping pills.. (you know the little blue ones…) — In fact I was up to a point where I was doubling and tripling the dosage on those.
I even went to the doctor when I was 25 about it.. They said “Jared, you’re having trouble sleeping because you’re bi-polar, instead of working on a diet or getting more exercise.. Here.. take loads of these… and these…Â – I’ve told this story to the Nth Degree on the radio.. I need new doctor stories..
Anyway, since my brief but memorable stay in the hospital and on my parents couch for a thousand days (wow.. just like my early twenties… got about as much accomplished too) my sleeping troubles have returned.. Possibly under the influence of my brother, who although he has a high profile very well paid job at a certain bank.. A bank right here.. A bank right here in America.. (Odd too.. because he never finished college.. he never got a BoA).. He gets up for work around 6 am.. But is never ever in bed before 2am.. He’ll fall asleep on the couch before he relents and goes to bed.. “Jody, go to bed, man.. You’ve been asleep since ten” — “What? I’m not asleep” — meanwhile he demands that you keep Battlestar Galactica on the TV.. Maybe he’s dreaming about it.. I don’t know..
So really long wordy non-story short.. My sleeping troubles have returned. Last night, by far one of the worst instances in quite some time, I maybe got 25 minutes of sleep.. Even though I went to bed at a reasonable time.. (I mean, the worst time where I attempted to sleep and couldn’t.. there’s been bad nights and worse mornings where I knew I had no chance of getting more that an hour of sleep..) [Go back to your WGMD audio archives to the 10/14/06 podcast someday] There I lay… listening to the wind tearing my trailer in two… listening to the soothing sounds of cats mating right next to my window.. (Jealous?) with my mind absolutely racing.. First I had a song stuck in my head.. Then I got to thinking about a new record that my band is going to record in June (available at fine stores everywhere).. Then I got to thinking about a recent failed attempt at a relationship.. Then I got into a huge dialog with The Big One.. Umm, I mean God.. School Shooting.. Social Interactions.. Lifelong Depression.. Work Politics.. Everything except John Atkins (ATKINS WATCH!) — (Hence today’s broadcast) — I could not quiet my mind.. So I never got to sleep.
After laying there for 112 hours.. I decided to get up and rummage through medications to see if there’s anything that can help me sleep.. The expired Tylenol 3 from 2001 seemed promising.. But, it smelled like my mom’s bathroom.. So I opted out like a Delmarva Power rate increase.
As I desperately rummage through old leopardskin pill boxes, I notice the half empty bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper I had been enjoying all night long as I worked on my computer. Then I got to thinking, the last time I had a real trouble sleeping I had also consumed large quantities of Diet Dr. Pepper.. So I decided to do some research on the caffeine content of said drink… Surprisingly.. Much more caffeine than both Diet Pepsi.. Diet Cherry Coke and even the tooth busting classic Coca-Cola Classic.. Here’s a table of the caffeine content of other sodas (pops).. Be forewarned.. Diet Dr. Pepper is like Raid to Mr. Sandman.
| 12-ounce beverage | milligrams |
| Â | Â |
| Red Bull (8.2 oz) | 80.0 |
| Jolt | 71.2 |
| Pepsi One | 55.5 |
| Mountain Dew | 55.0 |
| Mountain Dew Code Red | 55.0 |
| Diet Mountain Dew | 55.0 |
| Kick Citrus | 54.0 |
| Mellow Yellow | 52.8 |
| Surge | 51.0 |
| Tab | 46.8 |
| Diet Coke | 45.6 |
| Shasta Cola | 44.4 |
| Shasta Cherry Cola | 44.4 |
| Shasta Diet Cola | 44.4 |
| RC Cola | 43.0 |
| Diet RC | 43.0 |
| Dr. Pepper | 41.0 |
| Diet Dr. Pepper | 41.0 |
| Diet Sunkist Orange | 41.0 |
| Mr. Pibb | 40.0 |
| Sugar-Free Mr. Pibb | 40.0 |
| Red Flash | 40.0 |
| Sunkist Orange | 40.0 |
| Slim-Fast Cappuccino Delight Shake | 40.0 |
| Ruby Red | 39.0 |
| Storm | 38.0 |
| Big Red | 38.0 |
| Pepsi-Cola | 37.5 |
| Pepsi Twist | 37.5 |
| Diet Pepsi Jazz | 37.5 |
| Diet Pepsi | 36.0 |
| Wild Cherry Pepsi | 38.0 |
| Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi | 36.0 |
| Diet Pepsi Twist | 36.0 |
| Aspen | 36.0 |
| Coca-Cola Classic | 34.0 |
| Cherry Coke | 34.0 |
| Lemon Coke | 34.0 |
| Vanilla Coke | 34.0 |
| Diet Cherry Coke | 34.0 |
| Snapple Flavored Teas (Reg. or Diet) | 31.5 |
| Canada Dry Cola | 30.0 |
| A&W Creme Soda | 29.0 |
| Nestea Sweet Iced Tea | 26.5 |
| Nestea Unsweetened Iced Tea | 26.0 |
| Barq’s Root Beer | 23.0 |
| A&W Diet Creme Soda | 22.0 |
| Slim-Fast Chocolate Flavors | 20.0 |
| Snapple Sweet Tea | 12.0 |
| Lipton Brisk, All Varieties | 9 |
| Canada Dry Diet Cola | 1.2 |
| Diet Rite Cola | 0 |
| Sprite | 0 |
| 7-Up | 0 |
| Mug Root Beer | 0 |
| Diet Barq’s Root Beer | 0 |
| Sundrop Orange | 0 |
| Minute Maid Orange | 0 |
| A&W Root Beer | 0 |
| Slice | 0 |
| Sierra Mist | 0 |
| Fresca | 0 |
Diet Coke is surprisingly high though.. So here’s where everyone says: “oh, how trivial, Vivian.. Look what they’re blogging about now.” — Trust me, it’s a public service if you’ve indulged in too much diet dr. pepper and have the kind of night I had.
April 17th, 2007 at 5:26 pm
And they tell me my coffee until midnight is bad???
Jared, try this…mug of warm milk, dunk a slice of wholewheat bread (dry!) in the warm milk and off to bed. If that doesn’t quite do it, take an aspirin, also. Works for me when the body quiets but the mind won’t.
Although…at a guess I bet you’re one of the many who can’t stand the idea of warm milk…lol!
April 17th, 2007 at 5:46 pm
I have a friend who often has trouble sleeping (and is probably bipolar as well) who refuses to stop drinking Coke (and only Coke, not “colas”). He drinks Coke with every meal, Cokes between meals, and often Coke before bedtime. It wouldn’t surprise me to find out he brushes his teeth with Coke.
How do you knock some sense into someone like that? I personally think you have to cut out caffeine for several days, if not weeks, before you know the full effect of the addiction. I’m not anti-caffeine by the way, I drink coffee myself, but I don’t have sleeping problems either. Seems to me like if I did I would have the willpower to at least TRY cutting out the substance for a few days before concluding that it wasn’t the cause. But I’m here to tell you there are people who can’t do those 2+2 calculations when it comes to their lifestyle.
I know that personally when I’ve had to keep an early (up at 6AM) schedule (I really like to stay up late) the only way I could get myself to go to bed at a reasonable hour was to cut out coffee after noon or so.
Hopefully your research will help a few folk who find themselves dragging through the day due to too little sleep.
April 17th, 2007 at 6:20 pm
It’s really staggering how much caffeine pop has in it.
April 17th, 2007 at 9:23 pm
Sometimes reading this blog helps me get to sleep, especially my own submissions.
April 18th, 2007 at 10:22 am
Jared, perhaps you should make an appointment to have a sleep study done at a hospital or sleep lab locally. That will give a full report on just how much sleep you get during the course of the test and also how deep of a sleep pattern you experience. They all go out of the way to make you comfortable. The one at Beebe has a TV set in the room, a comfortable bed and they make you feel very much at home. You usually check in at 7 pm approximately, then they get you all “wired up”. If you are wide awake and alert at 5 am, they turn you loose after giving you a snack, I believe. Believe it or not, “sleep disorders” are very common and there are many remedies available to help you. If you are not interested in that, you should maybe try drinking a glass of wine or having a beer before you plan to go to sleep. Hope you are not up all night to pee!!! Good luck to you–I am so very fortunate, do not have the problem and definitely would not want it. Take care…..