Image of the phytoplankton bloom off of the Galapagos Islands.

Everyone knows that we’re all facing a horrifying end at any minute because of the global warming. With this in mind, aren’t we all glad that our dying Earth is full of people brimming with frantic ideas to save us before it’s all over? Like this, another plan to start a phytoplankton bloom in the ocean to absorb carbon dioxide:

A New Mexico Tech scientist believes he has found a way to head off dangerous climate change. Oliver Wingenter said the idea is simple — fertilize the ocean so that more plankton can grow.

But, just like the last “Create a Phytoplankton Bloom Plan,” when the World Wildlife Fund mentioned something about a potential “domino effect through the food chain,” this latest plan has it’s skeptics, too:

Caldeira said that, in principle, Wingenter’s idea looks like it might work. But he suggested a cautious approach, with more research to understand the effect fertilization might have on both ocean and climate.

“It might be relatively benign,” he said. “It might not. We just don’t know.”

Some of the other ideas that have come up over the years to save us from the global warming are far more interesting. For instance, “Meatout” says that “global warming threatens planetary survival…,” and wants you to end global warming by going vegan. Meanwhile, Ric Oberlink, from Californians for Population Stabilazation, had this to say:

“If we had half as many people, we wouldn’t have much of a climatic warming problem,” argued Oberlink.

Ouch, I think we all know what CPS’s solution to global warming is….while astronomer Roger Angel has another solution that’s a little less personal:

He thinks that by putting a giant sunshade - consisting of 16 trillion glass discs – in space, he can limit some of the Sun’s energy reaching Earth.

16 trillion glass disks, incidentally, would cost $4 trillion and take 30 years to get going. In the meantime, we can try this plan from a Nobel Prize winner:

His solution would see hundreds of rockets filled with sulphur launched into the stratosphere. He envisages one million tonnes of sulphur to create his cooling blanket.

“Hydrocarbons are burnt to lift the rocket material, and the rocket then goes into the stratosphere. In the stratosphere, hydrogen sulphide is burnt, and the sulphate particles reflect solar radiation,” he explains.

But, if all else fails, there’s always the fall back plan provided to us by a former Canadian Defense Minister:

A former Canadian defense minister is demanding governments worldwide disclose and use secret alien technologies obtained in alleged UFO crashes to stem climate change. “I would like to see what (alien) technology there might be that could eliminate the burning of fossil fuels within a generation … that could be a way to save our planet,” Paul Hellyer, 83, told the Ottawa Citizen.

Our greatest attempt at combatting global warming to date, the Live Earth Concert Event, has so far failed to stop global warming. Other recent actions to stop global warming have also been fruitless, like getting naked with hundreds of other people and lying on a melting glacier, and helicoptering politicians to Greenland.

This entry was posted on Monday, August 20th, 2007 at 11:22 pm and is filed under Agriculture, Energy, Environment, Global Warming, Nature, Science, Technology, Uncategorized, World News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.