Petty Potty Jokes
March 31st, 2008 by Bill ColleyA lady friend chaired a community meeting last week and when it was completed she was chatting with several other women in attendance. It appears all listen to WGMD weekday afternoons but one of these educated woman exclaimed the show host was a “neandrathal”. Despite non-opposable thumbs this is my written reply:
I understand there are some women (and men) who don’t find the program worthwhile and I understand no product on market is 100 percent successful. The humor ranges from some sharp wit to potty jokes. It’s because the goal is to attract the largest possible audience. Broadcasters cast wide nets. Narrowcasting is really what “public†broadcasting is and it only survives with subsidies. According to TV ratings people like entertainments, even locally the numbers for American Idol are strong.  Some women like to believe their own husbands would never laugh at the basest jokes and certainly not tell those jokes. I’ve spent a good part of my waking life somewhere in a coffee shop booth with men (since I was a kid with my dad and his associates).  And for a time I was at the end of the end of a bar. Men laugh at some of the grossest and basest jokes. Roman priests, Baptist ministers, school administrators, dairy farmers, police officers and bartenders all laugh at bawdy tales.  There are people who claim radio is too important for humor. “We need to have a serious discussion of the issues”, they claim. Then I will recommend C-Span. It’s very good and couldn’t survive without a subsidy.  Shakespeare had serious discussions about issues in his chosen format. When I was a boy I went to see a production of Macbeth. In one scene an old man is heading to open the castle gate. It’s the middle of the night and he has just had sleep interrupted and as he walks to the gate he stops and relieves himself. It brought a huge collective laugh from the audience. Did the liberal women of the age condemn Shakespeare? Did they claim their husbands didn’t laugh at such a scene? Did they claim they were of a better cut than the author and his audience?  Newsflash for these women… Your husbands must have arrived from the factories with flaws. Some components weren’t installed correctly or at all. Or you don’t well know the product line.Â
I don’t cure cancer between 3:00 P.M. and 7:00 P.M. weekdays. I’m not campaigning for public office and seeking tax-dollars as compensation. I’m trying to survive all the absurdities that come before me each day. The day does approach, I suspect for all, when we realize much that we loved has either died or gone away yet life isn’t hell. It’s a great gift and in its brevity should be enjoyed. From my perspective “Gertrude” must be a miserable example of humanity. Members of these ladies families should wrestle them and snatch the telephones and computer keypads away. The world will be a happier place.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:52 am
Life is made of choices, if you dont like what you hear, change the dial until you do. Remember attitude is everything…..Read on
THEN CHOOSE .
John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, “If I were any better, I would be twins!”
He was a natural motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, “I don’t get it!”
“You can’t be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?”
He replied, “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or…you can choose to be in a bad mood.
I choose to be in a good mood.”
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or…I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or…I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.
“Yeah, right, it’s not that easy,” I protested.
“Yes, it is,” he said. “Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood.
You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It’s your choice how you live your life.”
I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.
I saw him about six months after the accident.
When I asked him how he was, he replied, “If I were any better, I’d be twins…Wanna see my scars?”
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.
“The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,” he replied. “Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or…I could choose to die. I chose to live.”
“Weren’t you scared? Did you lose consciousness?” I asked.
He continued, “…the paramedics were great.
They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read ‘he’s a dead man’. I knew I needed to take action.”
“What did you do?” I asked.
“Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,” said John. “She asked if I was allergic to anything ‘Yes, I replied.’ The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, ‘Gravity’”
Over their laughter, I told them, “I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.”
He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude…I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.
March 31st, 2008 at 11:58 am
Bill, PLEASE stop apologizing for having an interesting show! I rarely post on this blog (I much prefer a user forum, such as the one WGMD had), but I do occasionally read it, and more often than not, you post something either in retaliation to a disgruntled Libocrite, or you explain that you’re “just a radio host.” WE GET IT! You don’t owe them anything. If they’re so offended by your show, then they shouldn’t listen.
I, for one, LOVE your show! And I’m sure you have a ton more fans out there than detractors. Keep on keepin’ on!
March 31st, 2008 at 1:33 pm
As to women complaining of being offended by “potty mouth males”…obviously they’ve lived sheltered lives because we all know women can…and often are…worse then men.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Ne-an-der-thal—- adjective–Slang, Crude, boorish or slow witted. This found in the American Dictionary of the Englsh Language.
April 1st, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Respectfully, I disagree Nancy. I would certainly wish to debate and discuss topics with a Libocrite. However, I leave the sniping and personal attacks to the weak-minded. Maybe I’m in the minority, but that’s me.
April 1st, 2008 at 2:26 pm
I agree with Devastation, It a good show - do it the way you want.
April 1st, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Yes, Dev…I do know, personally if I may add, that your debates/discussions were civil and dignified without the need to stoop to sniping and personal attacks and I do apologise for having seemed to inadvertently include such as yourselves in the above comment. But you do also know that while there are a few, not everyone is above such spoutings. I try not to generalize but sometimes I still lose that struggle! Miss hearing from you but understand…like you, I prefer a forum structure but blogs seem the way to go these days…everybody has one, even me…LOL!
Hope you and the family are well and thriving.
April 1st, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Can’t we all just get along.
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:04 am
Potty jokes can be rude, crude, & offensive at times, I believe that’s the only way to tell the truth without using the 7 dirty words that a deejay can’t say on air. If dev is looking for librocrite to debate & slaughter ; try harder!!!!
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:53 pm
I would love to engage a ‘Libocrit’ radio host, too…..too bad their shows have the lifespan of a housefly. Maybe the founder of ‘Air America’ can re-invigorate the ‘network’ from it’s bankruptcy-laden doldrums….after he pays his fine for engaging a prostiute. At least his wife (Sen. Stabenow, D-MI) has good medical insurance.
April 4th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
The same advice that I had given to Dev also applies to you Rick: if you want to debate and slaughter a “LIBROCRITE” - try harder!! Maybe a “librocrite” doesn’t want to debate a person like you, Rick. You always judged people under certain label without getting to know them. C’ est la vie, that’s life Rick. Oh, here’s a thought; Rick, how would you like it if I make assumption, that you would considered to be unfair about you?
April 9th, 2008 at 10:46 am
You know I got a message for DEV & Rick. If your looking for “LIBROCRITE” Liberal to debate & slaughter - you found one - ME!! I want to know if there’s book : “HOW TO SPOT A LIBERAL”? People believe liberals support : Abortion. I don’t because life is human life & the only way to control abortion: is to zip it up. I believe in death penalty, I vote split ticket in elections, I believe people had a right to carry guns for protection, I listen to Wgmd for information, I like to hear potty jokes & I can tell them back. Bill Colley mentions : hippies, liberals, & drug culture in 60’s. Well Bill Colley ; the drugs this liberal takes : blood pressure, fiber caplets for constipations, irregular heartbeat(2 atrail filberations) & 2 81mg. for blood thinning. Bill, you glad that you didn’t experience colonosphy, heck I been through 1 & going another, that’s surprising coming from a 41 year old liberal?