Pizza, Beans and Mr. Scott
April 12th, 2008 by Bill ColleyFriday night I went shopping for pizza. Nothing extraordinary but just an inexpensive pie for dinner and a later warm up. Since moving to southern Delaware I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the quality of pizza I find in many local restaurants. While there are some certainly not pleased by the inward migration into a once sparsely populated county you can thank the émigrés from Jersey and Philadelphia for raising the bar for quality pizza.
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Then there are the fellows like me who appreciate a good pie but will eat just about anything marked “pizzaâ€. The day will come when surgeons will open my chest and saw through my sternum and tobacco won’t be the culprit. Nor too many steaks or a lack of vegetables but the goo from atop thousands of pizzas is surely my downfall.Â
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It started when I was a kid. It was probably just one night of every week but my dad would come home from work with a frozen disc. Mom would bake it and that would be dinner before TV or bed. Usually Chef Boyardee was the brand and while I’m not looking to offend any large brand names it had the consistency of cardboard smeared with a coat of tomato sauce. I was probably a teenager before I finally had my first taste of serious pizza. There must be a genetic weakness because ever since I’ve been eating pizza more than one night a week. My last link with any Italian ancestry is probably several thousand years past so I’m not sure how this addiction is flamed.
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Friday night I settled for something called Tombstone. It had a garlic bread crust, which I’m not at all certain what that means aside from a thicker pizza. These were 3 for ten dollars at my local Food Lion. Tombstone may be just a notch better than Chef Boyardee but in these inflationary times the price is right.
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A Canadian newspaper recently interviewed a retired U.S. Army Ranger about surviving tough times (apparently there are no longer any available tough guys in Canada). The Ranger advised that when the chips are down you don’t eat for taste. My cupboards are filled with dried beans on his advice. I’ve been eating beans almost daily for a few weeks and confess I feel great but when Tombstone brand pizza suddenly is appetizing I can’t guarantee I’ll hold out for long.Â
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What worries me about the current worldwide mess isn’t that it’s the end. I’ve already survived the end of the age several times since the 1970s. What worries me is that some of the fine alternatives to frozen pizza won’t survive. The result being increased homogenization of taste and quality.Â
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There was a fictional race, I believe called the Kelvans, from an old Star Trek episode. These beings didn’t savor food. They gulped nutrition pills once or twice daily and also had homogenized personalities, which were a bit too malevolent for even Captain Kirk and Spock. That is until Mr. Scott got the Kelvans slopped up on Scotch. Then they became typically human, filled with jealousy and curiosity. A strange twist on apples and Eden the writers may not even have recognized.
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Well time to run. I’m planning on warming some pizza for breakfast.Â
April 12th, 2008 at 9:10 am
Bill Colley your too finicky like big, fat, lazy, tomcat. You should asked Dan Gaffney to take you down to Nicola pizza & sample their food.
April 12th, 2008 at 10:51 am
Oh, no, Roy T. Bill, if you haven’t already check out Mr. P’s in Lewes. Best pizza I’ve had since…ummmm…Italy. But, we too occasionally buy the frozen variety and can tell you…either De Giorno or Frescheta do a four cheese, garlic crust that’s almost sinful. As to beans…aaaah, a good old Brit standby…beans on buttered toast…mmmm-mmmm good. (Only not pork n’ beans…vegetarian like Heinz or Bush’s). My folks wouldn’t prepare them for me as a kid…that was a “poverty meal”.
We may not have had much but heaven fornent it should apply to our diet. So, as an adult, I can and do indulge. Ah-ah-ah…don’t knock it unless or until you try it!
April 12th, 2008 at 11:49 am
I totally agree with you, Bill, about the ‘Tombstone’ brand of pizza. My wife is away for a while and I’m doing the shopping and cooking. I bought one of those ‘Tombstones’ and cooked it. The smell wasn’t enough to put me off but when I tasted it…. Well, it had some round things on it called “pepperoni.” At least, that’s what they said it was. It tasted more like what I imagine a long-dead, scabby horse would taste like. One bite was enough to convince me to toss the whole thing.
I agree that Nicola’s is the place for really good pizza around here. And they were here when Sussex county was still mostly countryside, long before the others moved in to “raise the bar.”
If you don’t mind making a quick, tasty pizza for yourself, get a loaf of crusty bread, slice it lengthways. Spread with your favourite sauce, add cheese to taste (and hot pepper if wanted) and stick it in one of those little countertop ovens (to save on propane or electricity). And you won’t have to burn precious gas to get into town and back. Once you’ve tried it, you’ll wonder if it’s worth paying $15 for a shop pizza. Then take a frosted mug, fill it with your favourite beer and enjoy the meal while you think about all the traffic out there that you won’t be driving in. Cheers!
April 12th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Mr. P’s is wonderful! Great dough.
April 12th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Nancy, I’m going to learn to back off & not diginify Bill Colley. I was out of line with “finicky, big, fat, lazy, tomcat” crack & Nicola too. Nancy, I learn a good lesson from this : If I try to tease people - they get mad at me; If people try to tease me - I get mad right back!!! Two moral lessons of the day: If you can’t take it, don’t dish it. Get to know the person first, the person may be smarter & quicker than a common box of rocks!!!
April 12th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
If I eat pizza, I usually buy microwave pizza from store.
April 12th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Roy, if any offense was taken, I’m sorry. I was joshing you as well. Enjoy your comments and your emails. Hope to hear from you again soon.
April 12th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
You know, if I wasn’t already going out for dinner I’d suggest we all nip over to Mr. P’s for a #6…(think it’s Puttanesca)…the mouth waters just thinking about it. John B…you guys could have the beer, I’ll have a Shandy…lol. Speaking of which Go Fish, in town, does the best Shandy bar none…Newcastle Pale Ale and the mixer (hard to tell if it’s 7-Up or Ginger beer). I’ve made the french bread pizzas, John…after coming back from living at ‘home’ a while, missed the Bird’s Eye (I think) and couldn’t find them in the US at that time. Store bought frozen…depending on the brand…are fine if you doctor them (extra cheese is a must, olives, maybe artichoke, real pepperoni…)
Nicola’s is fine, Roy T…just too noisy for me…lol. Not wild about their pizza but the boli’s are pretty good, I think. Don’t often have them, though…too busy and too far to wag them home.
April 12th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
But tombstone pizza doesn’t taste any better than a common box of rocks!
April 12th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
Tombstone is a dried sponge with a layer of tomato sauce. Really good pizza is topped with fresh vegetables. Especially onions and peppers.
April 13th, 2008 at 7:27 am
Taste is an amazing thing, Nancy. I took one bite of a Nicoboli and had to toss it, yet I consider their pizza to be the best. The meat in the ‘boli tastes rank to me.
Taste is something that seems to be a cause for enmity, too; taste in clothes, music, food, politicians… yes, I’ve seen so many ‘flames’ started over who is going to be the best person to run the country. Taste in music can also be very annoying especially when you have to work with others who insist on having a loud radio playing rap or heavy metal rock all day. I once saw a construction business owner take a man’s radio and throw it way out into the yard, smashing it completely, after he had warned the man to keep it down.
As our personal space becomes smaller, people ought to be more considerate of others and not intrude into their space with their own annoying personal habits. Ah, but I’m dreaming! I’m thankful for my own little sanctuary with quiet neighbours, french bread pizza and ice-cold O’Douls non-alcohol beer.
April 13th, 2008 at 8:48 am
Amazing. A discussion of pizza is turning political. Yet John objects in another post to the turning of manure in politics. And he drinks N/A beer. Speaking of rank taste! It’s the PC flavor. No kick, no extremes, no one person’s talents better than another person’s talents. No art, no recognition that men (and women) are driven by rewards.
April 13th, 2008 at 10:17 am
Ever wish the Kelvins had turned Rosie O’Donnell into a block of calcium?
April 13th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Philosophy, Bill! Not politics, philosophy! I agree with others who have accused you of stirring up the muck. Nothing of any sense in your response.
April 13th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
You are so very rude, Bill. Nothing funny or sensible in your nasty remarks. For your consideration, I lost a niece to a drunk driver right here in Angola, and I choose not to drink alcohol and drive. It has nothing to do with political correctness. It has to do with respect for others which is more than I can say for your attitude.
Rank taste? Most certainly. I find your remarks more rank than anything else around here. I will not be responding to any more of your blogs. Your last two sentences leave me dumbfounded. The sooner you get fired from WGMD, the better.
April 13th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Rick, you’ve got the wrong series. Rosie turned Han Solo into a block. I believe she also drinks O’Douls. And let me say that no self-respecting person of Irish ancestry would drink “O’Douls”. It’s what Auggie Busch collects in a specimen jar.
April 13th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Aaah, but to be fair, Bill, wouldn’t you say something like O’Doul’s (non-alcoholic I mean) is at least a way someone who doesn’t drink…for whatever reason….can still enjoy the taste without the alcohol…even an Irishman (or Scot).
April 13th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Sorry, John…you’re replies weren’t posted when I wrote (or at least I didn’t see them). And I totally agree with your noting that…” As our personal space becomes smaller, people ought to be more considerate of others and not intrude into their space with their own annoying personal habits.” In fact, my own blog (http://maat45.blogdumps.net/) dealt with this ‘issue’ just the other day. More than likely, most won’t agree with my philosophy and that’s fine…but we each are entitled to have one…and obviously better without ridicule.
April 13th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Rank stromboli and O’Douls aren’t philosophy. There are also more serious intrusions…
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/04/11/AR2008041103296.html
April 13th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Okay, I knew this blog would get “hairy”, but it did take longer than I thought it would. John B., you are right on the mark with your comments about Mr. Bill’s rudeness. I cannot believe that he turned a discussion that originated with pizza and Odouls into a political dissertation that ended with the government intrusions upon us. I think the gentleman should ask for a raise. At the least, he might maybe keep his poor financial state a private matter instead of sharing it with us. What a boring life, Tombstone pizza (3 for $10), oatmeal and dried beans. I also would love to know just how Rosie O’Donnell might need to be involved in the discussion about the pizza, or for that matter, what does Star trek have to do with it? Just how do you know Rosie O’Donnell drinks Odouls? Maybe she will call into your show tomorrow and tell you that she drinks Corona… I am quite sure she listens everyday !!
April 13th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
Hi, Buck. First, I wrote about pizza. Then John fulminated on “philosophy” and politics, to which I replied. Say, your hateful vendetta is palpable. Took while to smoke you out this weekend!
April 13th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Mr Bill, you had written 7 paragraphs to start. The first 4 were about the pizza, then you went off to your usual rant about topics that were not even related. My post is in no way hateful , you are the one who initiated the hateful comments. It seems to me that you can surely dish it out but cannot take any criticism at all. You did not “smoke me out” Mr. Bill. I was just waiting to see how long it took before your post headed south. This must be a record, about 15 posts before John finally realized that you were being rude. Have a wonderful night.
April 16th, 2008 at 11:06 am
Apology accepted Bill. FOLKS GIVE IT REST OKAY!!?? People, Bill Colley is a newbe(NEW KID) on the blog. He maybe rude & brash to some people’s taste. I believe people need to learn to walk in each another person’s shoes; they need to learn & see how comments come across.