Cover Letter
April 21st, 2008 by Bill ColleyA conservative friend has grown tired of John McCain and the current occupant of The White House. He sent me this..
Dear Sir or Madam;
My name is George Bush.
I am seeking employment with your firm, for the position of Chief Executive Officer.
I have held the position of President of the United States of America for the past eight years.
During that time, I note my achievements as follows:
- Successfully transferred responsibility for border security to other entities (the states).
- Created unprecedented demand for a food stamp dependency program for over 28,000,000 citizens.
- Successfully implemented the seamless integration of 2,000,000 uneducated illegal immigrants per year into our economy.
- Demonstrated ability for increasing financing for operations in the amount of $9,000,000,000,000, despite revenues of under $690,000,000,000.
- Creatively navigated through a major debt crisis by deferring responsibility until 2040 or later.
- Caused a transfer of private assets into government control, in the amount of $1,500,000,000,000, during what has been referred to as the “sub-prime mortgage crisisâ€.
- Created several new, complex departments: The Department of Homeland Security and the Transportation Security Agency, which increased employee count by over 150,000 and 90,000, respectively.
- Made more free programs available to the growing illiterate class, to foster domestic tranquility.
- Implemented an unprecedented transfer of public facilities to private, foreign owners, without the reduction of tax revenue.
As you can see, my career has been tremendously successful and robust.
I look forward to discussing the position of Chief Executive Officer with you soon.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Respectfully,
George W. Bush
April 22nd, 2008 at 1:42 am
P.S.
Also under my stewardship, my party has lost control of the US House and Senate.