This past weekend I traveled to Washington DC to walk with many other Hinders family members to help honor and raise money for my wonderful grandmother, Elizabeth Hinders who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease a little over 5 years ago. I also took video of this walk and I am hoping to have a completed piece up by this weekend, provided life doesn’t get too much in the way. But before I do that, I want to talk about my grandmother and why I walked.
I suppose that you could say that I did not have a typical grandmother. Their first apartment that I can remember had marble, white carpets, statues and many, many mirrors. If you knew me as a child, you would know that this whole apartment was just a walking trap for me to destroy something. I believe that I was put in the kitchen the majority of the time. She wasn’t one to give me candy every time she saw me or pinch my cheeks, although she did give great hugs. And if I close my eyes I can still hear her voice and smell her wonderful perfume that she always wore. She was an incredibly classy woman, and always made sure that she was up to date on fashion ( I blame her for my obsession of Vogue). She also had beautiful hands with perfect manicured nails.
However, she taught me so many things, to be patient and calm, when they lived in Bethany they had a beautiful garden which I would usually go out and ask question after question about her flowers and her plants, which I am sure was annoying but she never let it show. She took everything in stride, and knew how to make a person feel comfortable. She was very strong in her faith and whenever she would talk about it with me, it never felt like preaching, just simple conversation. She was the only grandmother that I really knew and I thought she was just one of a kind.
She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s when I was a Senior in High School, and right then we all knew the matriarch of our family wouldn’t be “with” us for much longer. Having already dealt with the disease on my Mother’s side of the family, I knew what to expect and how to handle the situation. Although now that I look back on everything, I don’t think i truly grasped the situation until it was too late. But she still got to see me graduate High School and stood out in the pouring rain with the rest of my family and cheered loudly as I got my diploma. After that unfortunately she fell downhill at a pretty steady rate. Now she lives in a nursing home, doesn’t recognize anyone as family but rather just nice people who always seem to visit. She doesn’t really speak English but it’s more like baby babble, but every now and then she breaks through and for one blessed moment “Betty” breaks through.
The entire Hinders family misses my grandmother more than any words could ever express, the whole ordeal has been especially hard on my grandfather of course, and within the past few years, his 84 years have really caught up to him. And so when we heard about the National Alzheimer’s Walk in Washington DC my cousin took it upon herself to get the whole family signed up and on October 18th, we walked.
I saw so many signs of loved ones who are dealing with the disease, or have passed on to a better place where they are no longer trapped within the constraints of the horrible disease. And in a way it was comforting to know that our family was just one of many trying to cope. And yet there were no tears, just smiles and anxiousness to get the walk started. We couldn’t have asked for a better or more beautiful day. It was one of the first perfect fall days and every now and then I would get sad thinking how badly I wanted her there with me. When at that point Sean, my boyfriend (who was just insane enough to get up at 5 am with me and join in the craziness that is the Hinders family) would look at me and grab my hand and say “but she is here, she is walking with you and she appreciates it so much.” Even my grandpa who is 84, blind and has Parkinson’s Disease walked part of the 3 miles, and even out walked Sean and I and put us to shame. The walk took us all around the National Mall, and to see all the people walking and laughing and hearing music play, it just made you feel so good.
However, someone asked the question: “Why walk? How does walking 3 miles help?” It’s funny, because it’s a totally valid question and one that I had never really thought about before. I guess for me, who is not a walker by ANY means, who has a bad back and heel spurs, the thought process was that the pain that I may have felt was nothing compared to the pain that she feels every day trapped within that disease, or the pain that my grandpa has to feel every night going to bed and nobody there. I can’t fix her, I am by no means smart enough to try and find a cure, I am not Bill Gates and I can’t donate hundreds of millions of dollars, but I have to do something, so I walk. I walk for Bette Hinders, Regina Murdock, and countless millions or people who have the disease. For anyone else out there who has someone dealing with Alzheimer’s Disease, I embrace you and I walked for you too.
My Grandmother may no longer have the memories of her and I, but I do. I think of her every day, and I miss her even more. The day that she passes on while sad, will be a day for rejoicing, because she will finally be at peace. She taught me so many things about life before and after her disease, and I hope that she was proud of me on Saturday. In all honesty, 3 miles was by no means enough, but it’s a start.
