Gates and His Oppressors
Saturday, July 25th, 2009Some genius has posted a comment somewhere on the internet that contains my name. I received a Google Alert late this Saturday afternoon. The writer suggests if a minority police officer arrested Sgt. Crowley of Cambridge and me for doing something criminal we wouldn’t like it either. It’s a reference to a story some of you may have missed about Henry Louis Gates, Jr. A story I’ve offered some earlier radio commentary.
My reply to the other opinion writer would look something like this:
Do you suggest anyone getting arrested for doing something criminal is pleased?
The internet has a democratizing effect and a lot of people are using it stupidly. If I’m to put myself in the shoes of someone breaking the law do I get a series of choices? Killer, arsonist, New York State legislators? Or is my critic suggesting in order avoiding hurting people’s feelings we should shout a hello and allow rapists, thieves and murderers to pass?
Professor Gates certainly isn’t accused of any such heinous behavior but he did verbally abuse an officer of the law. An officer of the law, we should note, performing his duty at the time of the verbal assault. Are any of you aware of any city, town or village in America where this is legal and considered acceptable social behavior?
The conclusion my critic appears to have reached is that it’s acceptable for any non-Caucasian minority to engage in rude conduct as a form of reparation for past wrongs, perceived current wrongs and any potential wrongs which may occur in the future. And a very orderly culture we’ll create when we establish rules allowing some folks wider latitude in life than others. Oh, sorry, we’ve already done that; it’s called Affirmative Action.
Under these newly enshrined guidelines the arrest of any member of a self-defined minority community shall result in a series of options. We can start by allowing the arrestee to refuse. Extreme? Perhaps we can allow every member of a self-defined minority a series of get out of jail free cards. These can be used up to a standard limit of three and if the persecuted wakes one day finding himself/herself out of cards a court of arbitration will be convened. If the court rules in favor of the police a proportional number of white men will also be ordered to jail, which can be accomplished simply by pulling Social Security numbers from a jar. Even to better represent white men in prison and balance historical wrongs we can order a secondary round of white men to the big house.
You could argue it isn’t obvious these targeted white men have committed any crimes but there is the written law and then there is the law waiting between the lines for interpretation. In keeping with fairness this demands a seat for a Latina on the Supreme Court of the United States. Understand a woman is a far better “decider” when it comes to dispensing justice. A wise Latina, self-admittedly through her own life’s experiences, is an even better interpreter.
I reside in Delaware and all of what I suggest is standard thinking among local academics, many of whom propose just being born white is an expression of aggression and oppression. Grant it, my white parents were quite oppressive. They wouldn’t let us outside to roam the streets at night and frowned on poor grades, skipping school and doing drugs. It’s exactly the type of parenting leading to more aggression and oppression and as it’s a learned behavior when we’re young it’s unlikely we’ll ever be fully rehabilitated.
So I await the knock on the door at 3:00 A.M. I know it’s coming the day the local crack addict finds his deck empty and arbitration provides my comeuppance.
